Dealing With Anxiety | Based on a True Story

Anxiety | My Story

                                                                                                                                                              ~ ART BY OVINOB

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        

          This article is not all about numbers, but I am adding just a small paragraph to emphasize the importance of this article.
 Anxiety disorders in humans are very common nowadays. According to The Economic Times in 2017, approximately 45 million Indians were suffering from fro anxiety disorder and 46 million Indians from depression.

          These are numbers from just one survey, we don't know how many more people are suffering. Many of them don't even seek help due to the fear of getting ridiculed and many who try to seek help do get ridiculed. I am one of the later.
                 

 I am trying to create a space for all those people where they can be comfortable, may it be for a moment, that will be enough, so this first blog is so that you get to know me and hopefully connect with me.

Anxiety The Beginning

               Like many of my fellow Indians, after my class XII, I joined a coaching institute (I'm not gonna name it) to prepare for the JEE Examinations. I didn't have many friends out there, nor had a mobile phone or internet to contact my dear ones. I used to get to call my parents once every week for 10 minutes. The pressure to study was so dense that my marks slowly started decreasing in the weekly examinations. I felt like I got scared, thinking about my future, and got anxious. Literally, I lost 9 kgs in two months, so if you all want to lose weight, you understand of course. Another one of my lame jokes. Forgive me.

People have their own reasons, you might have a different one. In this society, we are always competing with someone or the other. There is competition in business, education, sports, nowadays there is competition even in love. We feel joyous when we are winning the competition hence proving we are better than others in some way. We have been programmed in that way, if (win) = Happy; else sad. Trying to win we have already destroyed Earth so much that it is taking a sigh of relief because of coronavirus.

Why can't we just try to co-exist without any competition? You know, while competing we are under pressure and as the competition increases the pressure does too. Not everyone can take this pressure and some crumble. As a matter of fact, we all have heard " Competition is increasing, It's getting tougher day by day.", but we failed to notice that the number of mental disorder cases are also increasing. Anyway it's in fashion nowadays.

People who aren't trying to compete are also suffering, they are getting dragged in it. 

Breaking it Down| The loneliness which comes with Anxiety?

           Why did I go through anxiety? Isn't the answer obvious? I was scared of my future, of which I knew nothing. I felt that all my other mates will do great in life (socially and financially) whereas I will be missing it all. I was in a situation in which I felt helpless, could talk to nobody because nobody understood what I was going through. Most of the people I did talk with, dismissed it saying "you're overthinking mate", "it's okay" and few of them just laughed. I stopped sharing. Due to these, I went into depression which haunted me for almost two years.

Most of you who have suffered from these mental illnesses might be familiar with some of these things. Many of the people who are not suffering from these illnesses too might have faced some of these situations in a relatively mild way, if not extreme  (I'm not trying to demean your emotions, just trying to make you understand what another person through). The loneliness, the sense of abandonment are the worst thing that comes with anxiety or depression. Please just be there for your friends or anyone who you know suffering, just hear them out, you don't even need to say anything just being compassionate and being there will help that person a lot.

The Helplessness

When we suffer from anxiety or depression, the feeling of helplessness creeps in. Many people don't understand, what we're going through. They can not understand until it happens to them. It's not their fault people are ignorant by nature. Many people are only compassionate towards the people who are really close to them and disregard the importance of the existence of other people, animals even plants. 

The only way I discovered to deal with this was to give up the expectation that someone will help you but be open to the ones who try to help. Yeah, reach out to people but do not expect anything in return.

Saves you from the pain when sometimes people just say they are busy doing important stuff, and don't try to remember how you tried to help them when they were in a fix. 

Simply just give up the expectation that they'll even listen to your 'whining' (this is a clear usage of sarcasm) when they have other important stuff to do, or you'll be their priority. Yeah there will be people who understand your problem and be there for helping you leaving other stuffs, they are a blessing in your life.
What I'm trying to say is that if someone helps you, let them and if no one comes then be fine.

Trying to Deal with Anxiety

When I discovered that I have an anxiety disorder and depression through a doctor, I was prescribed some medicines. Those pills were the worst thing I ever ate in my life although after a few months I never had it again out of impulse (I don't recommend to this, please consult your doctor before doing anything). Those pills made me feel relaxed but lethargic and whenever I was not on them the anxiety was there. That just meant they were a temporary solution. I wanted a permanent solution.

Almost after two years of trying I finally feel better although sometimes I still feel depressed or anxious not as much as I used to though. Hopefully with time and some efforts that will go away too.

Tips to Deal with Anxiety 

•  We often find ourselves fighting against those terrific thoughts and always losing. The reason is simple and clear, we cannot fight with ourselves. Anxiety, those anxious thoughts are in our head, agree, or disagree they are our own making. When we fight with our thoughts we become just like the snake biting its own tail. Basically, we create two versions of ourselves in our head and those versions fight each other in our head, making us even more anxious.                   
  Rather (what I did ), just try observing your anxious thoughts like they are someone else's thoughts without fearing, getting sad, or attachment with your thoughts. And yes, without passing any judgment on them (passing judgment will again create two versions of you).
• Never long for anyone, I always felt alone and sad but later I realized everyone has their own things to deal with. Most of the people you know will not help you I repeat, they will not help you partly because they don't understand and partly because they have their own life.

• There will be a few who try to help always respect them and be open with them. After all, they are trying to help you not hurt you.
• Trying doing some activity which you like maybe art, music, dance, anything. Don't force yourself if you don't have anything to do. Just sit listen to any music you like in loud volume, watch tv, watch the people, the cars moving outside.
  Exercising helps, trust me on that. Playing sports, running, simple skipping, or just doing pushups or squats, any kind of physical exercise helps.
• Try helping others, maybe people, maybe animals. I never understood the concept of self-love and how to practice self-love so I decided to befriend the stray dogs, sometimes feed them or just play with them. Doing anything like this helps us become compassionate and gives us a sense of purpose.

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Signing off- The Blue Note.